


Loveth His Children

by ESawyer



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: (it is), (sorta) - Freeform, Coming Out, F/M, Family Drama, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Kevin tries to be a good brother, M/M, Open Ending, Sibling Relationship, Sibling Rivalry, The Price's go to Uganda, The incident with the General is mentioned only slightly, lets say an open ending, or is ittttt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-01-07 08:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21213164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ESawyer/pseuds/ESawyer
Summary: “As often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me. And ye shall also forgive one another your trespasses”The ramifications of the District 9 Elder's being excommunicated from the Church stretches as far as America - to Jack Price in particular.





	1. Chapter 1

Kevin and Jack Price were a package deal. Always had been and always would be. Born just two years apart, they were so alike that most thought they were twins. They were the best thing to have happened to Scott and Hope Price, and neither of them were ever allowed to forget it. 

It was sometimes strange, being one of the only Mormon families to not have three hundred million children; whenever Jack asked why it was just the two of them, the answer was always something about fertility problems and how his parents had been blessed with everything that they needed.

Not that he would change anything about their family. He was very happy to only have one brother. He didn’t need someone else to compete against. It had always been painfully obvious to Jack that Kevin was the golden child: he never failed a class and never ended up in detention. He volunteered at Church charity events even though he was already on the soccer team and probably proysletised more than Joseph Smith himself did.

Yes, Kevin Price was the glowing example of what a good Mormon boy should be like. And Jack was the glowing example of what an average Mormon boy should be like. It wasn’t as though he didn’t try: he went to Church, proysletised as much as he could and memorised as much scripture as his brain would allow. He just wasn’t quite his brother: he was failing miserably in physics, didn’t bother trying out for the soccer team and never volunteered in Church because _who has the time?_

It was a mark of how strong their relationship was that this never tore them apart. Though Jack could not lie and say that there weren’t moments when constantly living in Kevin’s shadow didn’t get to him. 

“You’re much better with girls than I am anyway,” Kevin would say after a bishop sang his praises and completely ignored Jack.

“That’s because your conversational skills only stretch as far as preaching,”

“Yeah. I’m sure _that’s_ the reason I don’t have a girlfriend,”

“No, it’s because you’re not as good looking as I am,”

“Are you sure ‘good looking’ is the best way to describe you, pal?”

“Whatever. At least I don’t think I’m more important than Joseph Smith,”

“Oh, screw you,” Kevin said, shoving his shoulder. 

“Idiot,” 

“Moron,”

* * *

Jack had known that something was wrong when he heard raised voices from the kitchen; a sound usually unheard in the quiet peacefulness of the Price household. He was sitting at the dining room table and struggling through a history essay. It was in moments like this when Jack needed Kevin. His older brother was always on hand when he needed help with his homework. And he almost always needed help with his homework.

He stared at the closed door of the kitchen for a moment, wondering if he should investigate, but then his phone lit up with the notification “**HISTORY ESSAY DUE TOMORROW!!**” and he decided that some things were more important than others.

He just wished that Henry VIII hadn’t felt the need to have so many wives.

“Jack, can you come in here please?”

Wondering what on Earth he could have possibly done wrong, Jack (happily) left his history essay alone and joined his parents in the kitchen. He frowned slightly at the sight before him; his mom was dabbing tears out of her eyes and his dad was leaning against the wall, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Um...I don’t know what I’ve done but I’m...sorry?”

“No, it’s not you, darling,” his mother said, and he felt a wave of relief wash over him, “We just got off the phone with your brother,”

“With...my brother,” Jack repeated as though he had never heard of such a thing, “why? I thought the first phone call wasn’t for another three weeks,”

“Usually, it isn’t but...” Scott sighed, “Look, kid, there’s no easy way to say this. Kevin’s been excommunicated from the Church,”

Jack snorted, “Yeah, OK. Kevin, who wrote his book report about the Book of Mormon in fourth grade has been excommunicated,”

“We aren’t joking, son,”

“Dad, don’t be ridiculous! He’s never done anything wrong in his life!” Jack exclaimed, “there’s no way that Kevin would have been excommunicated! You must have got it wrong,”

“We’re not lying to you, sweetheart. He really has been excommunicated. His entire mission has,” Hope says gently.

Jack slowly sat down on a stool at the counter, his mind working at one million miles and hour to try and work out how _Kevin_ of all people could have been excommunicated.

“Is he - is he coming home, then?” Jack asked, a hopeful note in his voice.

Scott sighed, “We asked him to but...he said he’s staying. He’s under the impression that they can still do good work over there. Something about the district leader being convinced he can somehow get funding for them to last two years,”

“He didn’t even want to go to Uganda in the first place!” Jack snapped, “he didn‘t want to go to Uganda and he _despised_ his mission companion! Why’s he suddenly all up for staying?”

“We don’t know,” his mom told him, still wiping her eyes, “he said that he has nothing here. I’m sorry, Jack, I know you’re missing him,”

“No, I’m not,” Jack said angrily, jumping out of his stool, “he can stay in Uganda for the rest of his life for all I care,”

“Jack-“

“If he really thinks that he has nothing here, fine! He doesn’t! If he doesn’t want a brother, I don’t care!” Jack yelled, “am I dismissed?”

“Jack, we really should talk about this,” his dad said, “there’s a lot to discuss.”

“Can I go?” Jack repeated, “there’s nothing to talk about. I don’t want to talk about him,”

“Yes.” His dad said resignedly, “and don’t...don’t worry about going to school tomorrow. Take the day off. We’ll talk to school,”

Jack took care to slam his bedroom door shut before throwing himself onto his bed. Groaning, he rolled onto his side and was immediately confronted with the picture of him and Kevin that sat on his bedside table; it was from their trip to Disney World. Kevin had been 9 and Jack had been 7. They were stood arm in arm in front of the castle with stupid Mickey Mouse ears on their heads.

He stared at the picture for longer than was probably necessary until the tears came. Furious at himself for crying but even more furious at Kevin for being so stupid, he snatched the frame off the table and shoved it in a drawer.

Out of sight, out of mind.

* * *

Jack had been enjoying a particularly depressing Saturday evening when Kevin rang him for the first time after almost a year. His mother was insistent that he spoke to his brother, and fixed him with that glare that only moms seem to be able to do. The one that quite plainly says - _if you don’t do what I ask you to do, you’ll be sorry._

He took the phone off her with a sigh and held it to his ear.

“What?”

“Hey, buddy,”

“What do you want Kevin?”

“I miss you, dude,”

“I thought you didn’t have anything here?”

The line crackled slightly as Kevin sighed.

“OK, so you’re angry at me,”

“How observant of you,”

“Look, Jack, I didn’t mean to get excommunicated. Africa is - it’s weird, man. I mean, I wouldn’t change it for the world but it’s...it’s changed my life. It’s changed how I look at everything. If you were here, you’d understand what I mean.”

“So you’re telling me that if I was there, I would happily turn my back on my family? I don’t really think that’s the sort of place I want to be, Kev.”

“I’ve not turned my back on you!” Kevin exclaimed.

“It was my birthday last week,”

This was met with silence and Jack tutted, rolling his eyes at the ceiling.

“Shoot, Jack, I’m sorry. I didn’t - things have been crazy out here and it just slipped my mind. We’ve had so many baptisms and I’ve barely slept or had anytime to myself and-“

“Whatever, Kevin, forget it.”

“Well, you’re 18 now, aren’t you? So you’ll be on your mission soon! You must be excited, right?”

“Yeah, I’m really excited to not go on my mission”,

“What?”

“The MTC have recommended that I don’t go on my mission. So I’m having a lot of fun going to BYU,” Jack snapped. 

“I thought you said you didn’t want to go to BYU,” 

“I didn’t,”

“Jack, I really am sorry,”

“OK,”

“Are you gonna forgive me?”

“I’ll leave that up to Heavenly Father, even if you don’t believe in Him anymore,”

Throwing the phone against the wall didn’t make him feel any better. It just left him with cracked wallpaper and unrelenting anger at his own brother.

* * *

An unfortunate development in Jack's life was that he had started praying to Heavenly Father and asking to be struck down. It had yet to happen and Jack felt strangely betrayed. His girlfriend thought this was unhealthy and liked to tell him at every opportunity. 

“You don’t get it because you’re not Mormon,” is how he would justify it. 

Liz would then just roll her eyes at him, “See, that is one thing that no one told me about being non-Mormon at BYU: no one will ever listen to my advice because I “don’t understand Mormons”,” 

“I barely understand Mormons!”

“I feel like this less about Mormons as a whole and more about Kevin,”

“Not everything is about Kevin!”

“Of course it isn’t,” 

Only, everything did seem to be about Kevin. So much so that his mom actually asked him to take time out of his studies to go and visit him in Uganda for six weeks. 

“No. No way,” 

Hope sighed down the phone, “Jack, please, he’s really struggling out there,”

“You always say that! You _always_ tell me that he’s struggling but then never tell me what he’s struggling with!”

“Please, Jack. He’s missing home,” 

“Tell him to come home then,” 

“He wants us over there. All of us,” 

“I don’t want to go,”

“What if we invite Liz as well?”

“Seriously?”

“Why not? She’s a lovely girl,” 

Jack was silent for a moment as he chewed his lip, weighing up the pros and cons in his mind. 

“Fine,” Jack said finally, “but I want the window on the seat on the plane,” 

“You’ll have to fight your father for it,” 

* * *

“-and for some reason, school has agreed to let me miss two weeks of the new semester to be there!” Jack said angrily, taking his anger out on his notebook by stabbing it with his pen, “I don’t even want to be there! I mean, I barely want to be here!” he added, glaring around the library, “Why can’t I ever do what I want?”

“I know, it sucks,” Liz sighed, “I wish you didn’t have to go,”

“‘Cause you’re gonna miss me so much?”

“No, because I’m gonna be who you complain to when you get back!”

“That’s not true. I’ll complain to you when we’re there,”

“When _we’re_ there?”

Jack grinned, “Mom and dad said you can come with. If you - if you want to, obviously,”

Her eyes lit up, “Oh my gosh! Yes! I’d love to go!”

“Really?” Jack asked, “because I don’t know how fun it’ll be,”

“The only thing that won’t be fun is the flight time. It’ll probably take like 30 hours to get there, you know,” 

Jack groaned and put his head in his hands, “I just want the Lord to strike me down,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii, thank-you so much for reading!!! This was only meant to be a one chapter thing, but it somehow turned into seven chapters. (No, I don't know how, either)
> 
> Anywayyy, I hope you enjoy reading this because I really enjoyed writing it!!! 
> 
> <3


	2. Chapter 2

Unfortunately for Jack, the Lord did not strike him down. 

The journey to Uganda was painful: Hope was fretting the entire time about passports, visas and insurance whilst Scott was bugging everyone by reading from his Uganda factbook. Jack just wanted to go home. 

“Did you know that Uganda became independent in 1962?”

“I do now, dear,” 

“Apparently, it’s custom to have large families in Uganda,” 

“That’s really interesting, Dad,” 

“Hey, look, it’s famous for coffee! That’s exciting!”

“You’re Mormon, Mr Price,” 

“HIV/AIDs is a big problem problem over there,”

“_D__ad! _My gosh, we don’t need to know that,” 

“Oooh, they use motorcycles as taxis!”

“Scott if you think that for one minute I’m going to let you near a motorcycle, you’re even more stupid than you look in that ridiculous shirt,” 

He glanced down at his floral shirt and then back up at his wife, “The man in the store said it was fashionable!”

“The man in the store lied,” Jack said, “How much did you pay for it?”

“I don’t think that’s important right now. Who wants breakfast?”

Five hours into the plane journey, Jack began contemplating launching himself out of the window. He couldn’t help but wonder how Kevin must have felt when he had been in this position, all alone except for Elder Cunningham. Jack had purposely gone out of his way to not have to talk to Elder Cunningham when they had dropped Kevin off at the airport. As annoying as it was to have to listen to his dad spout off useless Uganda facts, Jack would much rather listen to exactly how much of a problem AIDs was then sit with Elder Cunningham. 

“You alright?” Liz asked quietly, nudging him.

“Yeah. I’m fine,”

“You’ve been staring into space for the last half an hour,”

Jack looked around Liz to see if his parents were sleeping. Satisfied that they were, he turned back to Liz and dropped his voice. 

“Kevin hated his mission companion,” 

Liz frowned, “OK...?”

“No, I mean...he _hated_ him. He couldn’t stand him and now - now he’s all up for staying in Uganda with him? It doesn’t make sense,” 

“Hey, I’m sure everything will make more sense when we get there,” Liz said gently, “he’ll explain himself, I’m sure,” 

* * *

The first thing that Jack noticed when they walked out of the airport in Uganda was the heat. It was unlike anything that Jack had ever experienced in his life and his jet lag was very close to convincing him that he was in a Hell dream. 

“I’m too ginger for this,” Liz said, gripping onto Jacks hand and trying to find shade behind him, “Why did you do this to me?”

“I don’t control the weather, Liz,” Jack said, taking his cap off and dropping it on her head, “There you go,” 

“Wow,” Liz said blankly, “that just solved all of my problems,” 

“Come on, gang! This way to the bus stop!” Scott shouted merrily, “We still have a bit of a journey ahead of us!”

The moment Jack sat down on the overcrowded bus, he found himself wishing for a Hell dream for an escape. There was no AC, the windows did not open and the road was extremely uneven. Jack lost count of the amount of times he hit his head against the window after a particularly sharp turn and would have worried about brain damage if he wasn’t so distracted by the man sat so uncomfortably close to him. 

“It’ll all be worth it when we’re there, folks!” Scott said cheerfully. 

“Yeah!” Hope said encouragingly, “Kevin will be waiting for us at the bus stop, I’m sure!”

“Lucky us,” Jack muttered. 

Jack had always been under the impression that Kevin had the best “_I'm -__so-happy-to-be-knocking-on-your-door,” _missionary smile, but that was before he got off the bus in Kitguli and was confronted by the most smiley, overly-freckled, dangerously sunburned red-headed missionary in the world. It was missionaries like this one that made Jack understand why no one liked Mormons. Even he was trying not to make eye contact. 

“Hello! My name is Elder McKinley and I’m district leader here in Uganda's District 9!” he said, running forward with an outstretched hand, “Elder Price is so excited to see you all! He hasn’t shut up about it all week!” 

McKinley paused in front of Jack with raised eyebrows, “You and Elder Price look like-”

“Twins. Yeah. I know,” 

McKinley grinned like they had shared an inside joke and turned to Liz, “And you must be Liz! Lovely to meet you!” 

“Um, Elder McKinley? Where exactly is Kevin? I thought he’d be here,” Hope said hurriedly, “he’s OK, isn’t he?”

“Oh, he’s fine!” McKinley said brightly, taking her suitcase off her, “He’s just a little...uh, he’s a little _ busy _ at the moment,”

“Doing what?” Hope asked, “he’s not doing anything dangerous, is he?”

“Of course not! He just works very hard,” McKinley said with a forced laugh.

The walk through the village was both eye opening and confusing. Eye opening in the way that Jack would never complain about how boring he found Utah, and confusing in the way that Jack could still not understand how Kevin could leave America for a place like this. McKinley seemed very comfortable and at home, though. He smiled and waved at some of the villagers and even stopped to have conversations in Swahilli with others. 

“You speak Swahilli?” Liz asked. 

“We’re learning,” Mckinley said, “Kimbay - she’s the village teacher - has been kind enough to teach us in her spare time,”

“How is Kevin dealing with - with...with life in Africa?” Scott asked anxiously, “is he OK?”

McKinley’s smile faltered for the first time, “He’s doing fine, Mr Price. He’s been amazing. He’s always working hard. He probably works more than the whole district put together,”

“That’s our Kevin,” Hope said, “forever working,”

“Well, here we are!” McKinley announced happily as they came to a stop outside of the mission house. Only it was less of a house and moe of a hut, “It’s going to be a bit of a squeeze, I’m afraid, but we’ve worked out a way to fit us all in!” 

Jack looked at the hut with some apprehension. It did not at all seem like the most comfortable place to spend the six weeks of his life. It almost made him miss BYU (Almost).

“I’ll just go and find Elder Price and-”

“_ARNOLD_!” a furious voice roared, “Give me back my name tag you little shit!”

Two figures - one tall, on short - emerged from behind the mission hut. The short one ran with his hand above his head, waving something about whilst the tall one tore after him, hands flailing madly. 

“Arn! You’re killing me, bud! Dude! I swear to - give it here!”

It took Jack a minute to realise that it was Kevin chasing after Elder Cunningham, who he seemed to have a nickname for. 

“Is no one going to talk about the fact that Kevin just _ swore _?” Jack asked loudly, “or are we just going to give him a pass for that, as well?”

Elder McKinley had turned bright red and laughed awkwardly. 

“Can I get you a drink of-”

“Catch me if you _ caaaaan _!” Cunningham giggled, ducking underneath Kevin’s arms as he made a grab for him.

Jack glanced sideways at his parents who were staring at Kevin with their mouths hanging open. 

“ARNOLD!” Kevin yelled again before he finally caught up with Cunningham. He wrapped his arms around his companions middle and dragged them both the floor. They lay in a heap on the hround, their bodies shaking with laughter. 

“Oh, no, look at him, he’s really struggling. My poor brother, struggling _so_ much,” Jack deadpanned, “‘I’m so happy I came all the way here to help him,” 

McKinley turned to look at Jack with a glare so fierce, that he actually took a small step back from the district leader. But then his face melded back into a smile, though Jack could not tell which look he preferred. 

“_Behave _, Jack,” his mother hissed.

“Elder Price!” McKinley yelled over his shoulder, “Your family is here, swee - buddy!”

“Huh?” Kevin yelled back, “what are you calling me Elder Price fo - _ Mom _!”

Kevin pulled himself off the floor and ran over to them, enveloping Hope in a hug that very nearly knocked her off her feet. 

“You’re alright, darling, you’re alright,” Hope said gently when Kevin began to cry into her shoulder, “It’s OK,”

“Sorry for swearing,” he mumbled. 

“It’s alright, son,” Scott said, squeezing his shoulder, “it’s just good to know that you’re OK,” 

Kevin nodded and pulled away from Hope, wiping his eyes. He turned to look at Jack and held his arms up slightly with a smile. Jack did not return the smile and stayed rooted on the spot, his arms folded tightly. Kevin sighed and dropped his arms to his side.

“You look different,” was all Jack managed to say, “have you dyed your hair?” 

Kevin laughed and ran an unusually tanned hand through his blonde streaked hair, “No, the sun did,”

“Oh.” Jack said said, “Right. You look like you’ve overdone it on the spray tan, too,”

Jack wasn’t entirely sure why he was picking apart his brothers appearance, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. 

Kevin rolled his eyes, “I’m glad you came, Jack,” he looked over at Liz and smiled, “So this is your girlfriend?”

“Yeah. Liz,” 

Kevin smiled again, “It’s nice to meet you, Liz,”

“You too, Kevin,”

“Hi Kevin’s family!” a loud voice interrupted, making Jack jump backwards into Liz.

“You all remember Elder Cunningham, I’m sure,” Kevin said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Hi!” Cunningham said again, “do you wanna know where you’re sleeping? We had to shuffle_ eeeeeeveryone _about but Kev and Connor are very happy about it because it means they can slee-“

“-because it means that we can make everyone comfortable,” McKinley interrupted, shooting a glare Cunningham's way whilst Kevin elbowed him in the side, “follow me, then. I’m sure you’ll want to catch up on your sleep,”

“Mom and Dad can take Elder McKinley and Elder Poptarts room, Jack you can go into mine and Arnold’s room because he's staying in the village - you’ll just have to share with Elder Davis - and there’s a spare room for Liz because...well, I assume you’re Mormon?” 

“I’m not actually,” Liz said, “Catholic. Well, sort of. I mean, we go to Mass on Christmas and sometimes Easter, so...” 

Kevin frowned, “What’re you doing at BYU then?”

“Cheap as hell - heck. Cheap as heck,” Liz quickly corrected herself, “and I thought it’d be a bit of a laugh, you know?”

“Why am I sharing with someone?” Jack interrupted, “Doesn’t this Davis have a mission companion?”

“Yes, but Poptarts is staying with him,” 

“Why?” Jack asked. 

Kevin froze, “because...because Poptarts doesn’t like sleeping alone and I’m sleeping with Elder McKi - I’m sleeping in Elder McKinley’s office with him,”

“Why don’t mission companions just stay together?”

“Because they aren’t, Jack!” Kevin snapped, “Stop asking so many questions. You’re going to give me a headache,” 

“Yeah, it really seems like you’ve missed me,” Jack muttered, “Where’s my room? I want to sleep,” 

Elder Davis tried to make conversation with Jack when he stormed into their room, but he was not in the mood to make small talk with someone he barely knew. He just threw himself onto the bed that Davis had cheerfully told him was, “all yours, bud! ” and burrowed underneath the covers.

“I’ll give you some space, dude,” Elder Davis said, walking towards the door. Before he walked out, he turned back to Jack and smiled, “No matter how hot it gets, don’t open the windows. God knows what might come in. Also, if you're still Mormon, don't read the Book of Arnold. Just stick to the usual," 

Jack never thought he’d see the day where he missed BYU. 

* * *

Life in Uganda was as terrible as Jack had expected it to be; it was too hot, and there was no way to cool down. He had come across more spiders in one week than he had done in his entire life, the ever annoying Elder Neeley had taken it upon himself to refer to Jack as “Price II” and he was so sunburned that it hurt to walk. And on top of all this, McKinley had added the Price’s and Liz to the chore chart. 

Even worse than having to do chores, Kevin had still not explained why he was so intent on staying in Uganda, and it infuriated Jack to no end. 

“I just don’t get it!” he hissed to Liz one afternoon when they were gardening, “why the heck would he want to stay out here? I’m tired and sunburned and I just want to go home!”

“_You’re _sunburned?” Liz snapped with a glare, “Look at me!”

Jack grimaced slightly but quickly melded his face into a smile. He had never seen someone so sunburned in his life. 

“You’re still beautiful,”

“Shut up,” she mumbled, flicking a piece of dirt at him, “I don’t know how Elder McKinley stands this heat! And for so long as well!”

Jack glanced over his shoulder to wear Elder McKinley was knely near the vegetable patch with Kevin, their heads bent so close together that they were almost touching. 

“I’m hoping he bursts into flame soon,” Jack muttered. 

“McKinley?”

“I can’t stand him,” Jack said, “He’s just...he’s always around! He’s worse than Cunningham!” 

"I like him," Liz shrugged. 

Truth be told, Jack wasn’t sure that he liked any of the District 9 Elders. Davis wasn’t so bad, but Poptarts was downright annoying and Church seemed to be going out of his way to be overly nice. Jack would have happily punched Elder Neeley, and his mission companion, Elder Schrader, seemed to only have half a brain. Elder Michaels and Elder Zelder were bearable on their own, but when they were with the other missionaries, they were infuriating to be around. 

“Are you jealous because they’re spending so much time with Kevin and you’ve barely had a look in?” Liz asked casually. 

Jack was grateful that his sunburned cheeks would hide his blush, “No! If Kein wants to talk to me, I’m right here!”

“Every time he tries to have a conversation with you, you brush him off,” Liz said matter-of-factly. 

This time, Jack flicked a piece of dirt at her. She screamed and ducked out of the way. 

“Everything alright over there, you two?” McKinley called over to them.

“Fine, Elder McKinley!” Liz called back.

“You can both take a break now. Go and cool off. I think Schraders finally got the freezer working again,”

“Look at him!” Jack muttered furiously, “giving out instructions like it’s his job!”

“It_ is_ his job, babe.”

“No. It isn’t. I’m not a missionary! I shouldn’t have to answer to him!”

“Whatever you say, J,” 

In the kitchen, Elder Schrader had his head stuck in the freezer whilst Elder Neely stood next to him, flicking through an instruction manual and looking rather confused about it. 

“This is all in swahili. I can’t read it,” Neeley sighed. 

“You need to start paying attention in our swahili lessons!” Schrader snapped, taking his head out of the freezer and clicking his fingers at his mission companion, “Give it here!” 

He stared at the manual for thirty seconds before dropping it to the floor, “Yeah, I have no idea what this says,” he looked over at Jack and Liz, “Neither of you can speak swahili, can you?”

“Oh, yeah, I can. It’s my favourite class at BYU,” Jack said with a roll of his eyes. 

Schrader beamed, “Really? Can you help me fix this freezer because-”

“Schrader, man, he’s being sarcastic,” Kevin said from behind them. Jack hadn’t even heard him come in the hut, “You’re so gullible,” 

“Jeez, if I’d have known that he was as sarcastic as you, I wouldn’t have wanted him over here,” Schrader mumbled, throwing the manual back onto the table, “I’m giving up on the freezer. Get someone else to do it,” 

“Do you think your dad could fix it?” McKinley asked Kevin. 

Jack and Kevin looked at each other for a moment and then burst into laughter. Jack would not soon forget the time that he and Kevin arrived home from school to a flooded kitchen and a very stressed dad after he had tried (and failed) to fix the sink. 

“I don’t know, it depends if you want the hut ruined or not, bab -buddy” Kevin snorted, "who fixed it last time?"

The question was met with an awkward silence. Schrader stuck his head back in the freezer and Neeley picked up the instruction manual, flicking through it. Jack glanced over at Liz and was glad to see that she looked as confused as he felt. Kevin frowned and turned to look at McKinley, who was staring up at the ceiling. 

"What?" Kevin asked, "What is it?"

"It was the General," McKinley said, not quite looking Kevin in the eye. 

"You let him in here?" Kevin asked in a voice that Jack associated with him being angry; slow and clear, carefully pronouncing every syllable, "After everything?"

"I'm sorry, Kev," McKinley said hurriedly, "but you were in Kampala with Arnold and we were desperate! We went into the village to find someone and he was very insistent and-"

"And didn't take no for an answer?" Kevin laughed, "God, Connor, the _ General _ didn't take no for an answer? Who'd have thought!"

"Kevin, please, I-"

"Whatever, Connor, I don't want to hear it," Kevin snapped and he stormed from the room, slamming the door shut behind him. 

McKinley groaned and collapsed into a chair at the dining room table, his head in his hands. Neeley sighed and reached over to McKinley, squeezing his shoulder gently. 

"Don't worry, McKinley. He'll be fine. You know he will be,"

"New rule," McKinley said, looking up again and Jack was shocked to see tears sparkling in his eyes, "Under no circumstances is the General allowed anywhere near this house, OK? I can't - I can't believe I would let him in here after everything that he did to - gosh, I'm the worst boyf - the worst district leader in the world," 

"Hey, now, boss, don’t say that," Schrader said, finally taking his head out of the freezer, "don't blame yourself for this. You're trying your best to keep us all alive," 

"Sorry, I'm confused," Liz said loudly, "Who is this General?"

"No one," McKinley said quickly, wiping his eyes, "You don't need to worry about him,"

"Sort of feel like I do considering that Kevin just had a meltdown because he fixed your freezer," Jack snapped. 

"He doesn't want you to know about it. Forget it," McKinley snapped back. 

"He's my brother!" Jack yelled, "I want to know what's wrong with him!"

"If he's your brother then start acting like it!" McKinley exclaimed. 

“_I _should start acting like it?” Jack snapped, “Isn’t that a conversation you should be having with Kevin? He’s the one who left his family!” 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Elder Neeley said, holding his hands up, “Let’s not start arguing now, guys. Listen, Price II, Elder Price doesn’t-”

“Stop calling me Price II!” Jack snapped. 

"Jack," Liz said quietly, "Just chill out," 

“It’s just a nickname, I don’t know why-” 

McKinley clapped his hands together and stood up from the table, clearing his throat. 

"Look, Jack, I - I realise that you're not my biggest fan - and I don't expect you to be!" he added quickly when Jack opened his mouth to reply, "I'm not expecting the two of us to be the best of friends and I'm certainly not expecting you to _ enjoy _ life in Uganda but please just be there for Kevin."

"How am I meant to be there for someone if I don't even know what's wrong with them?" Jack asked. 

"You'll just have to try," McKinley said, standing up from the table, "I'll go and check on him," 

Before Jack went to sleep that night, he prayed that Heavenly Father would strike this General down, whoever he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I decided that Elder Schrader would be a bit dim, but it feels right 
> 
> Anyway 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments/kudos appreicated <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- Mentions of sexual assault

The only two people in the whole of Uganda who didn’t make Jack want to kill himself - with the exception of Liz and occasionally his parents- was Nabulungi and Kimbay; Nabulungi because she seemed to be the only person who could control Cunningham and Kimbay because she agreed with Jack that Kevin was annoying. 

And he was sure that if anyone would tell him what was wrong with Kevin, it would be them two. 

The morning after the argument in the kitchen, Jack found the two of them in the garden with Cunningham, Liz and his parents. 

“Morning, Kevin’s brother!” Cunningham said loudly, “We’re making flower chains!” he held up three shredded daisies haphazardly tied together. 

“He has a name, Arnold,” Nabulungi reminded him. 

“Morning, Kevin’s brother, Jack!”

“Elder Cunningham, it is a miracle you have never been punched,” Kimbay said. 

“Oh, I have. Multiple times,” 

“Are you OK, son?” Scott asked anxiously, “did you sleep at all last night?”

“No. Not at all,” Jack said, dropping to the ground next to Liz, “I was too busy worrying about the General and whatever it is he did to Kevin,” 

The silence that followed this was suffocating. Cunnigham dropped his gaze to the floor and Nabulungi suddenly became very interested in the sky. Only Kimbay maintained eye contact with him. 

“How do you know who is he?” Hope asked in a quiet voice. 

“Kevin had a slight meltdown in the kitchen yesterday because the General fixed the freezer,” 

“We should go and find him,” Hope said to Scott as she jumped to her feet, “Do you know where he is?”

“McKinley’s office,” Cunningham said quickly, “He was a bit upset. Connor’s looking after him,” 

“I really wish you’d have said something sooner, Jack,” Scott said before hurrying back into the hut after Hope. 

“Wanna make a flower chain?” Liz asked in a small voice. 

“Not particularly, babe,” Jack sighed, “I’d like to know who this General is,” 

“An ex-war lord,” Kimbay said bluntly, “he killed my husband right in front of me,” 

Jack groaned and closed his eyes. One day, he would be able to have a conversation with someone without putting his foot in it. 

“I’m - I’m so sorry,” Jack said, feeling his face heat up, “I didn’t - I didn’t know that. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything,”

“He terrorised this village for years,” Nabulungi said, “he tried to circumcise all girls in the village and-”

“-he  _ what _ ?” Liz yelped. 

“ _ Tried _ ,” Kimbay said soothingly, as though this would make anyone feel better. 

“What did he do to Kevin?” Jack asked, trying to steer the conversation away from female circumcision.

“It’s not - it’s not important,” Cunningham said quickly, the colour draining from his face, “You don’t need to know,”

“The General has ruined many lives, Jack. Don’t let him ruin yours,” Kimbay said, returning back to her flowers. 

“I mean, I don’t - I don’t even know what that means,” Jack muttered angrily as the topic of conversation changed. 

* * *

Walking through a scorching hot Ugandan village with Kevin and Elder Cunningham was not how Jack wanted to spend his Tuesday morning, but he did not seem to have a choice in the matter. Kevin wanted to show Jack the school and Cunningham just  _ had  _ to tag along, because it had become abundantly clear to Jack that the two of them were joined at the hip. 

“Do you still want to be a teacher, Jack?” Kevin asked. 

“I don’t know,” Jack replied, “College is sort of soul destroying, and I don’t know if I’m going to last much longer. Don’t tell mom and dad, though,” he added hastily. 

“Just transfer schools. I don’t know why you went to BYU in the first place after years of never wanting to go,” 

“Yeah, well _someone _had to keep up the whole 'respectable Mormon image' after _someone _got excommunicated,” 

“Uh...I can...I can hear Elder Gotswana shouting me,” Cunningham said before running away. 

Kevin sighed, “If blaming me for every shitty thing in your life makes you feel better, then be my guest!”

“You know what? It does make me feel better!” Jack snapped. 

Before Kevin could reply, Cunningham shouted his name. 

“I’ll be back in two minutes.  _ Don’t  _ move,”

Jack rolled his eyes, “I can look after myself, Kev,”

“Not here you can’t,” Kevin said. 

Jack fought the urge to throw something at the back of his head and sought shade underneath a tree, standing with his arms folded tightly and wearing an expression on his face that he hoped conveyed how much he really, _really _didn't want to speak to anyone. 

“Elder Price!” a strong hand clapped down onto Jacks shoulder and his knees buckled slightly.    
  
“Oh, sorry, I’m not him. I’m his brother,” Jack said, turning around.    
  
An eye widened in surprise - the other hidden by an eye patch - and the man held his hands up in apology, “Of course. I remember Elder Ghali mentioning that you would be here. My name is Elder B,”   
  
“Nice to meet you, Elder B,” Jack said, shaking his hand, “I’m Jack.”   
  
“Yes, Elder Price speaks of you a lot,” Elder B said, “How are you finding life in Uganda?”    
  
“It’s...it’s different,” Jack admitted, “and sort of a lot to get used to,”   
  
“I understand,” Elder B said, nodding his head solemnly, “if ever you need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to come to my hut. Life here can be unpredictable,”   
  
“Oh, thank-you,” Jack said, taken aback by his kindness, “yeah, it’s been a bit of a shock to-“   
  
He was interrupted by a panicked yell of his name. Confused, Jack looked over his shoulder to see Kevin running over to him. He grabbed Jack by the arm and yanked him backwards.    
  
“Ah, Elder Price! You and your brother are so alike!” Elder B chortled, “I thought he was you for a moment!”    
  
Kevin shoved Jack behind him, almost pushing him to the floor, “Ouch! Kevin, stop being weird!”   
  
“We should get going back to the hut now, Elder B,” Kevin said quickly, “See you,”    
  
“Kev, what are you doing you freak?” Jack snapped as Kevin grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him along after him, “That was really rude! He was just being nice and-“   
  
Kevin whirled around to face Jack, “Nice? He was being  _ nice _ ? That man doesn’t do nice, Jack! Don’t ever speak to him again!”    
  
“What?” Jack asked, “I don’t - he only offered me a bit of tea if he things got stressful-“   
  
“He did  _ what _ ?” Kevin exclaimed, “Oh my...I can’t believe he would -  _ never _ be alone with him!”    
  
“Huh?”    
  
“Promise me you won’t ever be alone with him! That you’ll never speak to him again, that you’ll keep your distance! Promise me!”    
  
“Kevin, stop, you’re scaring me,” Jack said, taking a step back from his brother.    
  
“Elder B is the General,”    
  
Jack’s heart skipped a few beats in his chest, “That man...he’s the one - he did something to you, didn’t he?”    
  
Kevin suddenly didn’t look like Kevin, and it was as though the facade had finally cracked; he didn’t look confident or healthy or happy, he looked like he was struggling as much as their mom had insisted he was. The colour had drained from his tear-tracked face and he was visibly shaking despite the heat.    
  
“Promise me, Jack,” Kevin whispered, “don’t be alone with him,”    
  
“I won’t be,” Jack said quickly, “I promise.”   
  
“I’m sorry for scaring you,”    
  
“Can you...can you at least tell me why you’re so scared of him?” Jack asked hesitantly.    
  
“At the hut. Not here.”    
  
It was perhaps the worst conversation that Jack had ever had with his brother. They were sat on Jack’s bed and half the time he wasn’t sure where he was meant to look. When Kevin had started crying, he was gripped with the urge to launch himself out of the window.    
  
“...and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t - I didn’t want you to worry,” Kevin said, his voice hoarse, “I didn’t even want to tell mom and dad, but one day I rang home and dad asked me how I was and it just...it all came out at once,”    
  
Jack nodded, pulling at a piece of thread on his shorts.    
  
“So...so even though the General...even though he did what he did...he’s still allowed in your Church?”    
  
“We don’t have a choice,” Kevin said bluntly, “if we excommunicated him, he’d probably go back to the way he was and I’m almost certain that I’d be his first target,”    
  
“Can’t you tell the police?”    
  
“The police can’t get involved. Not here, anyway,” Kevin said, “it’s too risky,”   
  
Jack frowned, “You’re not making any sense. There’s nothing illegal going on here,”    
  
“Poptarts and Church,”    
  
“Oh,” Jack said softly, “oh...well, I thought that they were but I thought it’d be rude to ask,”    
  
“Yeah. And it’s illegal, punishable by _death_. We don’t want to risk anyone getting in trouble,”   
  
“But you’re risking yourself by having him-“   
  
“Don’t you think I know that, Jack?” Kevin snapped, “do you know how fucking hard it is to walk around the village knowing that I might bump into him? Do you know how hard it is when I do? He acts like we’re best buddies and like he never assaulted me!” 

Jack looked away from him, unsure of what he was actually meant to say to him. Usually, Jack was the one venting to Kevin who always seemed to have a practical approach to his problems. 

“Hey, Kev, why don’t we - why don’t we pray?” Jack said. 

“What?” 

“I just - that’s what used to say to me when I was...when I was upset,”

“Oh, my god!” Kevin exclaimed jumping up from the bed, “Are you for real? Religion is what got me into this mess in the first place! He shoved a book up my ass  _ because _ I tried to convert him to the Church! If God existed, don’t you think he would have stopped that from happening? After  _ everything  _ that I’ve done for the Church? I've dedicated my entire life to that damn Church, and what do I get in return? Because it isn't paradise! It's not Planet Orlando! It's not _anything_ that was promised to me!”

“Kev, I-”

“Woah, everything OK in here?” McKinley stuck his head around the door, “I could hear shout - Kevin! Are you OK, my lov - buddy?”

Jack rolled his eyes at McKinley, “Do you have to stick your nose into everything that happens in this dang hut?”

“Well, when I hear one of my missionaries having a shouting match with his brother-”

“Just because you have a crush on Kevin doesn’t mean you have to follow him around like a lost puppy!” Jack yelled before he can stop himself. 

McKinley’s face fell and Jack suddenly felt terrible. Just as he opened his mouth to try and apologise, McKinley turned on his heel and stalked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. 

“Kevin, I didn’t mean-” Jack began. 

“You’re such a dick, Jack,” was all Kevin said before he stormed out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading! 
> 
> Comments/kudos appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

“Um, Elder McKinley? Can I speak to you?” 

“Are you not worried that I might try and kiss you?” 

Jack felt his cheeks heat up, “Look, dude, I’m - I’m sorry. Can we just talk, _ please _?”

McKinley rolled his eyes and gestured to his office, “If you feel brave enough to be alone in a room with me, sure,” 

Jack sighed and followed McKinley into his office; it was a tiny room with the desk squashed into the corner to make room for two mattresses on the floor. They were so close together, they were practically touching. 

McKinley perched himself on the edge of his desk and looked over at Jack, his arms folded. 

“What is it that you wanted to talk about?”

“I’m sorry for what I said yesterday about...about you having a crush on Kevin. I didn’t actually mean it, I was just angry at Kevin for - well, I’m always angry at Kevin but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Being called gay is such a middle-school level insult and it was stupid of me to even call you that. I know how annoying it is to get called gay when you’re not even gay. Like, I used to go to school with a guy called-”

“Wait,” McKinley said quickly, “Do you think I’m straight?”

Jack frowned, “Um...yes?”

“That’s adorable,” 

“It is?”

“I’m gay, Jack,” 

“Oh. But Kevin said that Church and Poptarts-”

“There can be more than two gay people in one place at a time,” 

“No, I know, I - I knew that,” Jack said, even though he wasn’t entirely sure that he did, “I just - well, I thought that he might have mentioned that you’re, you know- listen, BYU isn’t very - I mean, there aren’t a lot of - there aren’t a lot of um...gay people there and in terms of...in terms of, you know...being around gay people, I’ve lived a very sheltered life,”

“Yes, I know, you’re a Mormon boy from Utah,” McKinley said bluntly, “I didn’t expect you to be a massive ally of the LGBTQ community,”

“Well, I - um, I, you know-” Jack stuttered. 

“Alright, I’m gonna suggest that we stop having this conversation now because you look like you’re going to explode,” McKinley said. 

“Yeah, it’s probably for the best,” Jack muttered sheepishly, “Well, uh...thanks for, you know...this,” he gestured vaguely between the two of them. 

“Just leave, Jack, you look like you’re about to faint,”

* * *

One of the things that Jack would never complain about in Uganda was the night sky; it was always clear and always beautiful. There were more stars than he had ever seen in his life, and he wouldn't have blamed Kevin if the sky alone was the reason he was so intent on staying there. 

He was lying flat on his back staring up at the sky whilst Liz lay with her head resting on his stomach. He absentmindedly ran his fingers through her hair, trying his best to wrap his head around everything. 

“Did you know that Elder McKinley is gay?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” 

“Did he tell you?”

“No, it was just painfully obvious,” Liz said, “Why? Did you not know?”

“No! He had to tell me!” 

Liz snorted, “What conversation could you have possibly been having for him to come out to you?”

“Well...I might have...I might have accused him of having a crush on Kevin,”

“Dick move, Jack,”

“Yes, I’m aware of that, thanks,” Jack muttered, “But I was stressed out because Kevin had just told me what had happened with the General and then he poked his nose in, _ as he always does, _and it sort of just came out,”

“Are you bothered by the fact that he’s gay?”

“I - no. I don’t...I don’t _ think _so. I mean, the Church has its beliefs but-”

“But what are _ your _beliefs?” Liz asked. 

Jack shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t like the guy but because he’s annoying, not because he’s gay,” he sighed, “I feel like I have bigger things to worry about than McKinley being gay,”

“Kevin?”

“Yeah,” 

“Have you spoken to him since he told you what happened?” Liz asked, turning onto her side to face him. 

“No,” Jack admitted, “I actually think he climbed a tree today to avoid me,”

“Do you not think you should speak to him?” 

“I don’t even know what I’d say to him!” 

“Look, J, I don’t know what happened - and I don’t want to know - but I’m sure that what he needs right now is for you to be there for him,” 

“I’ve been a shi - poophead, haven’t I?”

“Shithead, Jack. You’ve been a _ shithead. _Swearing won’t send you to Hell,” 

“You’re not Mormon, you don’t get it,” 

* * *

It was early morning on a Sunday when Jack finally plucked up the courage to go and talk to Kevin. When he had asked Elder Davis where Kevin was, he had just shrugged and said, “probably with McKinley. Try his office,” 

Scowling at the thought of possibly having to have another conversation with McKinley, Jack walked up to his office and prayed that McKinley was out. The door was slightly ajar and he took that as an invitation to walk in without knocking. 

Elder McKinley was fast asleep in bed, tangled in the bed sheets with another man. Jack gasped and tried to creep out of the room, but he tripped over the corner of the mattress and fell to the floor. 

“Ah!” Jack yelped, “oh my gosh - I’m sorry, I’ll just - oh, gosh - I -” he froze when the other man propped himself up on his elbows, “_ Kevin?” _

Kevin’s eyes widened and he shoved Mckinley away from him. 

“It’s not what it looks like,” Kevin said quickly. 

McKinley grunted and moved back towards Kevin, flopping his arm over his stomach. 

“Course not,” Jack said weakly, pulling himself off the floor, “I...I cuddle with my friends in bed all the time,” 

McKinley grunted again and pulled himself closer to Kevin, “Who’re you talkin’ to, Kev?”

“Uh...actually, Con, can you...can you let go of me?” Kevin asked quietly. 

“Fuckin’ rude,” McKinley muttered, rolling away from Kevin and burying his face into his pillow, “Last night you were all, “_ Oh, Con, touch me, touch me,” _ and now-”

“Connor!” Kevin yelled, “Shut up!” 

“Honestly Kev, there's nothing wrong with liking sex-“

Kevin groaned and picked his pillow up, hitting McKinley over the head with it. 

“Hey!” McKinley exclaimed, sitting up and glaring at Kevin furiously, “I thought were passed being embarrassed about - oh, god,” McKinley broke off in a groan when he looked over at Jack. 

Kevin put his head in his hands, “Jack, I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have heard any of-“

“Yeah...I’m just...I’ll go and - I’ll go now,” Jack muttered, “I’ll see you both later, I guess,” 

Jack all but ran from the room, feeling rather faint. Uganda really was the strangest place in the world. 

“Hey, kiddo!” Scott shouted from where he was talking to Elder Hatimbi, “You alright?”

“Uh, fine, dad,” Jack muttered, wandering over to him, “I’m fine. I think,”

Scott frowned and peered closer at him, “Are you sure? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,”

“If you think you’ve seen a ghost, it was probably just Elder McKinley. That boy is _ too _pale,” Elder Hatimbi chuckled. 

Jack tried to force a laugh at this, but the laugh very quickly turned into a sob and then he found that he couldn’t stop. 

“Jack!” Scott exclaimed, putting his arm around his shoulders, “What’s going on, bud?”

“I - I - I don't know!” Jack sobbed, putting his face in his hands, “I don’t know!” 

“Alright, alright,” Scott said soothingly, “Let’s just go inside,”

Inside the mercifully empty kitchen, Jack sat with his head in his hands whilst his parents sat on either side of him. Thankfully, Nabulungi had organised an excursion for the Elders that gave them a whole missionary-free day. 

“What is it, darling?” Hope asked gently. 

“I feel like I don’t know Kevin anymore,” Jack sniffled, “it’s like - it’s like he’s a whole different person!”

“What makes you say that?”

Jack opened his mouth and then closed it again. He might have been a terrible person, but he wasn’t terrible enough to out him to their parents. 

“He’s just different,” Jack said. 

“You know he’s been through a lot here, don’t you?” Scott said. 

Jack nodded, “I know. He told me what happened with the General,” 

“So...so you understand that he probably can’t help but be a bit different to how he was,”

Jack nodded, “Yeah. I get it. I just...we used to tell eachother _ everything _and now...there’s just been so many secrets,”

Hope frowned as she brushed her fingers through his hair, “What else has he hidden from you?”

“Nothing,” Jack said, “I just meant the thing with the General,” 

“Oh, hey, guys,”

Jack turned around to see Kevin and Elder McKinley stood in the doorway of the kitchen. Jack looked back down at the table as he felt his face heat up again.

“Everything OK?” Kevin asked. 

“Fine,” Scott said, putting his hand on Jack’s shoulder and squeezing slightly, “We’re fine, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” Jack muttered, still staring at the table, “Yeah, we’re fine,” 

“We’re going to see Kimbay,” Hope said, standing up, “We’ll see you all later, OK?” 

“I’ll come with you,” Jack said. 

“Wait, Jack, can we talk?” Kevin asked. 

"Not right now," was all Jack managed to say, not quite meeting Kevin's eye. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW- Homophobia

Jack continued to ignore Kevin and was pleased that Kevin seemed to be doing the same thing. Even McKinley had backed off and wasn’t constantly nagging Jack about all the chores he wasn’t doing.  
  
And he had been enjoying a boring day doing nothing until his mom dragged him into the hut and locked him in the living room with Kevin.  
  
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you boys, but it’s ridiculous,” she snapped, “You’re going to sit here and talk like adults!”  
  
“You can’t just lock me in here, mom! I have work to do!” Kevin exclaimed.  
  
“No, you don’t. I spoke to Elder McKinley. He’s got it covered,”  
  
Kevin sighed and sat back on the sofa, “Fine”.  
  
“Good, I’ll see you both in an hour or two. _Behave_,” she said before shutting the door behind her.  
  
“So,” Kevin said after a lengthy silence, “I’m gay,”  
  
“Really? I didn’t think there was anything particularly gay about sleeping with another man,”  
  
Kevin rolled his eyes, “Real mature, Jack, real mature,”  
  
“Go whine to McKinley about it,”  
  
“I don’t understand what your problem is!”  
  
“It’s just unexpected, alright?” Jack snapped. 

“Yeah, well it was unexpected for me, too!” Kevin yelled back, “I wasn’t thrilled about it at first, either!”  
  
“I don’t get it,” Jack said, “I just don’t get it. When you left America you were normal and now-“  
  
“Oh, fuck you,” Kevin scoffed, “I am normal!”  
  
“Are you, though?” Jack asked, “because between the General and you being gay, I don’t - oh my gosh,”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Oh my gosh,” Jack repeated, “this is - I know exactly what happened! One of the professors at college told me about this!”  
  
“Told you about what?”  
  
“That gay men prey on guys who’ve been through terrible things and-“  
  
“Don’t”. Kevin snapped, “Don’t say what you’re about to say. Connor didn’t _ prey _ on me!”  
  
“It happens-“  
  
“God, BYU have really done a number on you, haven’t they? What’s next? Helping your classmates beat up the gay kids? Going on marches opposing marriage equality?” Kevin exclaimed, “or are you just gonna disown me? Because I don't want a homophobic brother!”  
  
“Maybe I don’t want a gay brother!” Jack yelled.  
  
The look on Kevin’s face was more painful than if he had just hit Jack in the face.  
  
“OK, I get it,” Kevin said, holding his hands up, “it’s fine. You don’t care about me. Whatever,”  
  
The door opened and Hope walked in, followed by McKinley.  
  
“So, have you two sorted everything out?” Hope asked, wringing her hands together.  
  
“Yeah,” Kevin said blankly, “I know where we stand,” 

Before Jack could even think about trying to apologise, Kevin had stormed out of the room and dragged McKinley with him.

* * *

  
Coming to terms with the fact that he might have been slightly homophobic was a lot more difficult than Jack had thought. As he helped Elder Neeley put the laundry up, Jack could not help but watch Kevin and McKinley together; they were sweeping up around the hut together and giggling quietly. 

It was strange: all Jack really wanted was for Kevin to be happy, but now that he was confronted with his happiness, Jack couldn't help but dislike it.   
  
“You alright, Price II?”  
  
“Huh?” Jack said, looking around at Neeley - he had long since given up on trying to get Neeley to call him by his actual name.   
  
“You’ve been holding the same shirt for 5 minutes,”  
  
“Oh, sorry,” Jack muttered, handing it over to him so he could peg it on the line, “I’m just...confused.”  
  
“About?”  
  
“Everything,”  
  
Neeley nodded knowingly, “Yeah. Me too.”  
  
“Actually, can I ask you something?”  
  
“Sure thing, bud!”  
  
“One of my friends from...from college recently told me that he’s gay and I don’t know how I feel about it,”  
  
Neeley looked thoughtful for a moment, “How long have you known him?”  
  
“A long time,”  
  
“So you’re going to let one thing ruin your friendship?” Neeley asked, “as long as he’s happy, who cares? I mean, I know what the Church says about homosexuality, but Jesus loves us all, right? And in Arnoldism we just don’t care. You love who you love you know? Like I said, as long as he’s happy, who are we to judge?”  
  
Jack glanced over at Kevin just as he threw his head back and laughed loudly at something that McKinley had said.  
  
“Yeah, I guess...”  
  


* * *

_ A cool wind blew through the funeral home, carrying with it the sound of sobs. Perplexed, Jack sped up in his walk down the corridor, trying to find the source of the crying. It was a sound unlike anything he had ever heard before; guttural and broken. _

_ A door at the end of the corridor swung open and Jack hurried through it. It was the Salt Lake Temple, though it looked nothing like he remembered; it was not decked out in white and warm and welcoming, but almost completely black, lit only by flames along the walls. _

_ A man knelt before a casket in the middle of the room, shoulders shaking with sobs. _

_ “S-Sir?” Jack asked, “Sir, are you - are you OK?” _

_ The man whipped around and Jack gasped, staggering backwards. _

_ “E-Elder McKinley!” he exclaimed, “What’s going on?” _

_ “This was you!” he yelled, getting to his feet and starting towards him, “All of this! It’s your fault!” _

_ “What's my fault?” Jack asked, backing away from McKinley, “I don’t - I don’t know what I’ve done!” _

_ “You killed him!” McKinley yelled, tears streaming down his flushed voice, “You’re not better than him! You both hurt him! You both killed him!” _

_ “W-Who? I’m not better than who?” _

_ A hand grabs his shoulder and Jack whirled around. The General was stood before him, holding a blood stained Book of Mormon. _

_ “N-No!” Jack yelled, “No, I’m - I’m nothing like him! Elder McKinley, please! You don’t - you don’t really think I’m like him, do you?” _

_ “Who else could have put him in that casket?” McKinley asked, his voice almost emotionless. _

_ “Who are you talking about?” Jack asked, though he was almost certain he knew. _

_ McKinley said nothing and simply stepped to the side, gesturing to the casket. The last thing that Jack wanted to do was see who was lying in the casket, but his legs seemed to have a mind of their own and were carrying him towards it. _

_ Jack looked upon the deceased face of his brother, his arms crossed over his chest, holding a copy of the Book of Arnold. Jack’s knees buckle beneath him and he falls across the casket, gripping onto Kevin’s arms. _

_ “I’m sorry, Kev! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he sobbed, “Please, I’m sorry - I didn’t - I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry!” _

_ “Sorry isn’t going to bring him back, Jack!” McKinley snapped, “You killed him!” _

“NO!” Jack yelled, jerking awake, “No! No! No!”

“Woah, woah, woah! Buddy!” 

The light next to the bed flicked on and suddenly Elder Davis was next to him. 

“Are you OK?” Davis asked. 

“F-Fine,” Jack gasped, wiping his brow with a shaking hand, “I’m OK. It’s nothing. It was just a Hell dream,”

Davis’ face fell into a look of sympathy, “I get it, dude. They’ll go away one day,”

“Really?”

“Nope!” Davis said brightly, “Go get some water and cool down,” 

“Hey, uh...you’ve...you’ve seen Kevin today, haven’t you?”

Davis furrowed his brows, “Uh...yeah. He helped me cook dinner, why?”

Jack muttered something vague and hurried from the room, his heart beat uncomfortably fast in his chest as his brain cruelly convinced him that Kevin was dead and that it was all his fault. Fighting back tears, Jack grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and chugged it down. Hell dreams always made him feel like he had just ran a marathon. 

“Jack?”

He jumped and turned around to see Liz stood in the doorway of the kitchen. 

“Why are you awake?” Jack asked. 

“There was a spider in my room and now I can’t sleep,” 

“Is it still there?”

“No, your dad got rid of it for me but I’ve managed to convince myself that there’s a whole army of them - are you alright?”

Jack shook his head, “I’m the worst brother in the world. I told Kevin I’d rather not have a brother than have a gay one.”

“Kevin’s gay?”

“Him and McKinley,” 

“Oh,” Liz said softly, “Well that...that sort of makes sense,” 

“It does?”

Liz shrugged, “It was either McKinley and Poptarts or Kevin and McKinley,”

“I basically told him that I wished he was dead instead of gay,” Jack said, tears slipping down his cheeks, “How could I say that to my own _ brother _?”

“Do you wish he was dead?”

“No!” Jack exclaimed, “No, of course I don’t!”

“You’re not a bad person, Jack. You just say some really, really shitty things sometimes because you don’t think enough,” 

“Are you calling me stupid?”

“No, I’m just saying you don’t use your brain enough,” 

“I should apologise to him, shouldn’t I?”

“You need to at least try,” 

* * *

“Hey, Kev,” 

Kevin turned to look at Jack with narrowed eyes. He was holding a crate of fruit and vegetables from the market and Jack was suddenly worried that he might try and throw a pineapple at his head. 

“What do you want, Jack? I'm busy." 

“Can we talk?”

“I’d rather have tea with Elder B,” Kevin snapped before turning his back on him and walking away. 

So much for trying. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading!!!  
<3


	6. Chapter 6

Jack was quite sure that his and Kevin’s relationship was broken beyond repair - a fact he cared about more than he wanted to. 

As he often did when it felt like the entire world was working against him, Jack turned the Book of Mormon for guidance, but even that seemed to be unhelpful. He read the same quotes over and over again, but the more he read them, the more pointless they became. 

He was walking along the dirt track back to the mission hut with Liz when he spotted the lone figure of Elder McKinley ahead of them. The district leader was walking with his hands deep in his pockets and his head bowed as though in prayer. 

“Give me a minute,” Jack muttered to Liz. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t-”

“Elder McKinley!” Jack shouted, “Elder McKinley!”

McKinley stopped and looked over his shoulder, “What do you want?”

“Kevin isn’t around, is he?”

“Do you care?”

“When I first got here, you told me that I should treat you like you’re actually my district leader, right?” Jack said, deciding to ignore that last comment, “and that if I ever need any help with-”

“Have you forgotten what you said to Kevin? Have you forgotten that you told him-”

“I know what I said,” Jack said quickly, “And I’m not - I’m not proud of it, but it’s hard, OK? It’s really hard!”

“What’s hard? Having to accept your brother for who he is? Having to accept that your brother  _ loves  _ someone? Wow. Really hard, Jack. I don’t know how on earth you’re going to deal with it!” McKinley snapped, taking a step towards him, “And there I was, thinking that us gays had it hard after years of self hate and rejection by those who are meant to love us more than anything in the world!”

“You grew up in the same way that we did, you know what the Church says about homosexuality-”

“Yes, I do, and it was always much harder to hear the Bishop damning homosexuals to Hell knowing damn well that I was one myself!” 

“But Heavenly Father created men and women-”

“Nephi 11:16-17,” McKinley interrupted. 

“Pardon?”

“Nephi 11:16-17,” McKinley repeated, “An angel visited Nephi. Do you remember the conversation?”

“Um-” Jack said, nervously wracking his brain. Remembering scripture had never been his strong point, “Uh...something about...something about Heavenly Father?”

McKinley scoffed, “So you were going to lecture me on what Heavenly Father expects of me when you can’t even remember important bit of scripture?” ** **

“Remembering scripture isn’t easy for everyone!”

“ _ ‘And he said unto me: knowest thou the condescension of God? And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things,’ _ ”

“I don’t get what that has to do with-”

“Heavenly Father loves all of his children! We might not understand every stupid thing in the Book of Mormon, but we can understand that he loves us all. No matter what!” McKinley exclaimed, “Heavenly Father loves me even though I’m gay. He loves Kevin, even though he’s gay. Maybe you should try and do the same thing!”

“I know you don’t like him, but he sure knows how to argue, doesn’t he?” was all Liz had to say on the subject. 

* * *

Jack retired to bed early one evening to pray. The rest of the Elders - with the exception of Kevin who was always suspiciously absent after dinner - were downstairs with some of the villagers. 

_ Heavenly Father, I ask for your forgiveness for...well, for many things. First, I realise that it has been almost three weeks since I last prayed. Things in Uganda, as I’m sure you’re aware are...strange. And I cannot understand why you would send Kevin to somewhere like this and why you would let him suffer through such awful things...which brings me onto the other thing I’m asking you for forgiveness for... _

_ I said something to Kevin that should never have been said. I’m not even sure that I really believe what I said. Please forgive me. I feel so guilty. I obviously still love Kevin but...homosexuality is wrong, right? And I know that Elder McKinley is gay but it’s different when it’s your family, isn’t it? _

_ So...please help Kevin. Guide him onto the right path. Whatever path that might be.  _

“In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen,” Jack finished. 

“What are you praying for, darling?” 

Jack glanced over his shoulder to find his parents stood in the room. 

“A lot,”

“Kevin?” Scott asked. 

“How did you know?”

“He just came out to us,” Hope said, her voice surprisingly calm for a Mormon who just found out one of her sons was gay, “and told us...told us about him and Elder McKinley being together,”

“Oh...I didn’t - I didn’t think he would tell you,” Jack said, trying to keep his voice light, “Did he mention-”

“What you said?” Scott asked, “Yeah,” 

“Am I in trouble?” 

Hope shook her head, “No, we...we understand. It’s difficult,” 

“God loves us all though, right?” Jack said, “So, he still...he still loves Kevin?” 

“We don’t know,” Scott admitted, “Leviticus 20:13 says,'' If _ a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them,’.  _

“You don’t - you don’t think they should be  _ killed  _ do you?” Jack gasped, his mind flashing back to his Hell dream. 

“No,” Scott said, “Of course not. I just...the Church might think that. People here might,” 

“What are we going to do?” Jack asked. 

“I don’t know,” Hope said, “I really don’t know,” 


	7. Chapter 7

It was quite something to realise that people who had known Kevin barely a year were more supportive than his own family. Jack spent most of his days trying to wrap his head around the fact that Kevin would rather spend more time with Cunningham than him. When he had said this to Liz, she had not at all reacted in th way that he had expected her to. 

“I cannot believe you!” she snapped, “Do you really think that he’d want to spend time with you after everything you said to him? You haven’t even _ tried _to apologise to him!”

“Yes, I have!” he exclaimed, “He doesn’t want anything to do with me!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Jack!” she yelled, “of course he does! If he didn’t want anything to do with you, do you think that he would be this upset? He’s obviously heartbroken and you aren’t even trying!”

“You don’t get it! You’re not-”

“I know I’m not Mormon!” Liz snapped, “For God’s sake, you can’t use your religion as an excuse for your shitty behaviour! I grew up in a household just as conservative as yours, and yet I don’t think that Kevin and McKinley are an abomination! I don’t think that gay people are going to Hell! The sooner you realise how toxic your thinking is, the better!”

“Being Mormon is completely different to being Catholic!”

“And thank God it is! At least we aren’t _brainwashed_ by our Church!” she said before storming away from him.

“Ooooh, someone’s in the doghouse,” a taunting voice said from behind him. 

“Shove off, Schrader,” Jack snarled, “Go stick your head back in the freezer,” 

“Jokes on you, because that’s a very easy way to cool down!” Schrader grinned before practically skipping back to the hut. Presumably to actually stick his head in the freezer. 

Jack took a moment to fantasise about throwing something at Elder Schrader before walking back to the hut. He had been hoping to find it empty, but Elder Cunningham was lay sprawled across one of the sofas, flicking through a Book of Arnold. 

“Oh, sorry,” Jack said, “I’ll just-”

“Wait,” Cunningham said quickly, “I want to speak to you,” 

Jack glanced behind him to make sure that there wasn’t someone else there, “You want to - you want to speak to me?”

“Yeah.” 

“Oh,” Jack said, sitting down, “Right. OK.” 

Cunningham sat up, an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face. Jack shuffled in his seat awkwardly, willing the ground to swallow him. 

“So. Kevin is gay.” 

Jack blinked at Cunnigham, “Um, yes. I know,” 

“And you have a problem with that,” it wasn’t a statement, but a question. 

“No!” Jack said quickly. When Cunningham raised his eyebrows, Jack sighed, “It’s just...it’s a lot,” 

“I know,” Cunningham said, taking Jack by surprise, “When he came out to me, I was a little freaked. I mean, I’d be sleeping in the same bed as him-”

“Uh, do you mean the same room?”

“No, I mean the same bed,” 

Jack frowned, “You...you slept in the same bed as him?”

“We both get sad and lonely sometimes,” Cunningham said flippantly, “_ Anyway _, I’d slept in the same bed as him and suddenly he was telling me he was_ gay_? But then I sat back and thought about it and I realised that Kevin is still Kevin, regardless of who he loves. He’s not hurting anyone by being gay, is he?”

“Well, my mom and dad-”

“Whatever they think is their problem,” 

“Yeah, but the Book of Mormon says that love should be between a man and a woman and-”

“The Book of Mormon is also a bit racist,” 

Jacks shoulders slumped. It must have been the end times if Cunningham was speaking sense. 

* * *

Jack went back to the funeral parlour that night. He awoke with a scream dying in his throat and tears streaming down his face. In the bed next to him, Davis grunted and rolled over in his sleep, apparently unbothered by the noise that Jack was making. 

“Kev,” Jack muttered to himself, leaping out of bed and throwing a t-shirt on, “Kev, Kev,” 

“Who are you talking to?” Davis asked sleepily. 

“No one,” Jack said, “Go back to sleep,” 

Jack ran from their bedroom and flew down the stairs to McKinley’s office, banging on the door with little regard to the others sleeping. 

“I don’t know why you’re knocking so loudly but - Jack?” McKinley rubbed his eyes as though he couldn’t quite believe that he was stood in front of him, “What are you - why are you crying?”

“Kevin,” Jack said, “Where is he?”

Frowning slightly, McKinley stood to the side and pointed to the mattresses where Kevin lay. 

“Can I speak to him?”

“Now?” McKinley asked, “he’s sleeping,” 

“I don’t care. I want to speak to him,” 

McKinley cleared his throat and gently pushed Jack backwards so he could step outside of the office. 

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” McKinley said quietly, shutting the door behind him. “He's not been sleeping well recently, I don’t want to wake him when he’s finally asleep,” 

“But-”

“I’m serious, Jack,” McKinley said sternly, “it’s getting closer to...it’s getting closer to the anniversary of the _ incident _with the General. I don’t want to upset him more. Leave him alone for now, yeah?”

“Can you at least tell him I want to speak to him?”

McKinley sighed and nodded his head, “Yes, but I can’t promise that he’ll want to speak to you,” 

* * *

Kevin did not speak to Jack until his final day in Uganda. By this point, Jack had just resigned himself to the fact that he had messed up so much that Kevin would never want to speak to him again and did nothing much but wallow in his own self pity. 

“Jack?”

Jack’s head snapped up from staring blankly at his bed sheets. Kevin was hovering in the doorway of the room, hands deep in his pockets. 

“Can I speak to you?” 

“Uh...yeah,” Jack said, “Yeah. Sure.” 

Kevin didn’t say anything straight away, so neither did Jack. 

“I don’t want this to be the thing that tears us apart,” Kevin said finally, “I don’t want us to fall out, J.” 

“You’ve made it really hard though, Kev,” Jack said, finally finding his voice, “Like, really, _ really _hard. All these secrets and not talking to me...it sucks,”

“I know,” Kevin said quietly, “I know.” 

“But I’ve not made it any easier for you, either,” Jack said, “I shouldn’t have said that I don't want a gay brother. It’s not true,” 

Kevin snorted, “You don’t have to lie to me,” 

“I’m not lying!” Jack exclaimed, “Look, I - it was a shock, OK? You’ve never even had a girlfriend_, _ never mind a _ boyfriend!” _

“That’s, uh, that’s not...that’s not strictly true,” 

“What?”

“Do you remember...do you remember Bishop Francis who lived next door to us?”

“Oh, my gosh - you - _ he _was your boyfriend?”

“What? _ No! _” Kevin exclaimed, looking disgusted, “He was like...65! I mean his son, Ellis!”

Jack stared at Kevin, his mouth hanging open, “I thought...I thought he was your best friend,” 

Kevin shrugged, picking at thread at the bottom of his tie, “We were friends at first and then it sort of developed into something more, I guess. I used to have to climb through his window to see him,” 

“Sorry, you climbed through his window?”

“Remember when I broke my foot playing basketball?” 

“Yeah?”

“I actually fell out of his window,” 

“You fell out of the - how did you manage that?” 

“Dunno. Fucking hurt though,” 

Jack ran a hand through his hair, feeling the dull thud of a headache creep up on him. It was quite difficult to believe that his perfect Mormon brother could have spent his nights climbing through the bedroom window of their local Bishop’s son. Though the more Jack thought about it, the more it began to make sense; how Kevin and Ellis had always exchanged strange looks, how Kevin liked to stay behind at Church for no apparent reason and how his arms had become weirdly toned despite the fact that he didn’t go to the gym. 

“Did you guys, uh...break up?” 

Kevin nodded, “Yeah. I had a mini freak out one day when we were together. I - I don’t know...I guess I realised what were doing and couldn’t handle it. I literally broke up with him mid make-out session,”

“And he didn’t try and kill you on the spot?”

“He looked like he was going to attempt to,” Kevin said, “but I just - I couldn’t handle it. When I came on my mission, I decided that I would just throw myself into work and never, _ ever _think about my sexuality again but, you know...Connor McKinley exists,” 

“How come you never told me?”

“Gee, Jack, let me think...it might have been because we’re Mormon and were living in Utah. And judging by the way you reacted when you found out, I’m pretty sure I made the right decision,” 

Jack sighed and turned to face him, “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to apologise enough. I didn’t mean it, Kev, honestly. I was just...I was scared,” 

“Scared? Of what?” 

“Losing you,” 

“Losing me?”

“I mean like...like the old you. Like the one I always knew. The ‘I’m-the-best-Mormon-to-ever-Mormon’ Kevin Price,” Jack said, “Not the...not the...”

“‘I’m-a-gay-atheist’ Kevin Price?” Kevin suggested helpfully. 

Jack snorted, “Yeah. That.” 

Kevin smiled, “Well, I’m glad we had this conversation.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Kevin smiled at him again, “Oh, by the way, why did you go to Connor’s office so late at night?_ ” _

Jack felt his cheeks heat up, “Oh, uh - I...I had a Hell dream,”

“Oh,” Kevin said softly, “Oh, I’m sorry, bud. Are you alright?”

“It was - it was nothing. It was stupid,”

Kevin frowned slightly, “It doesn’t seem like it was nothing, are you sure you don’t want to talk - _ oof! _”

Surprising himself - and most definitely Kevin - Jack launched himself off the bed and at Kevin, throwing his arms around him and sobbing into his shirt. It took a moment for Kevin to reciprocate, but when he finally put his arms around him, Jack started crying even more. Telling him over and over again about how sorry he was, and how from now on, he would be there for him and that their parents were _ wrong _and how he would do anything he could to make them see how wrong they were. 

“I’m so sorry,” Jack sobbed, “So sorry. I should have - I should have been there from the start,” 

“Stop apologising. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care. You’re - you’re here now, aren’t you? That’s all that matters, it’s all I wanted,” 

Later, when Jack was drifting off to sleep, he wondered if God was really worth it after all the pain He seemed to cause. 

* * *

During his final night in Uganda, Jack came up with a plan that would make his parents see sense when it came to Kevin and McKinley. It was the perfect plan, really, and he began to wonder if maybe he should study to be a family counsellor instead of a teacher. 

Only, it wasn’t Kevin who was waiting for them in front of the mission hut to walk them back to the bus stop, but McKinley and Cunningham. 

“Brilliant,” Jack muttered. 

Liz glared at him for a moment before stomping over to stand next to McKinley, both of them wearing identical glares on their face. Jack sighed and hung his head, wondering how on Earth he was meant to get through the entire journey home without trying to kill himself. 

Cunningham suddenly burst into laughter. McKinley jumped and held a hand to his heart. 

“Good _ Lord, _Arnold!” McKinley exclaimed, “What are you - what’s so funny?”

Tears streaming down his face, Cunningham pointed at Jack, then at Liz and then at McKinley. 

“What?” Liz asked. 

Cunninghams laughter soon turned into breathy gasps and he keeled over as though in pain. Jack glanced over at his dad who was looking at Cunningham in polite confusion (Jack had long since learned that this was how most people looked at Arnold). 

“Arnold, please, the Price’s have a bus to catch,” McKinley sighed, “What’s so funny?”

“Kev and - Kev and -” he burst into laughter, “Kev and Ja -_ ha ha ha - _Kevin and Jack!” 

“Me and - me and Kevin?” Jack asked weakly, “What - what about us?”

“You have the same taste in people!” Cunningham exclaimed and he burst into laughter again, “Connor and - Connor and Liz! They look like cousins!”

“Oh, my god,” McKinley muttered, putting his head in his hands, “I hate you,” 

Jack glanced over at Liz who was smiling slightly, and his heart leapt slightly. 

“Well, if they can get over Liz being ginger, maybe they can get over me being a man,” McKinley said in a voice that was not at all quiet. 

“Yes, well - do you not think that we should get going?” Scott asked loudly, “We have places to-”

“Are we not saying goodbye to Kevin?” Jack asked quickly, “I’m pretty sure he’s awake, I heard him-”

“It’s best we just leave, I think.” Hope said. 

Jack frowned, “But...we’re not going to see him for another year, so-”

“We’re _ leaving, _Jack,” Scott said sternly. 

“I’m not going until I say bye to Kevin!” Jack exclaimed. 

“Why do you suddenly care about him?” Hope snapped, “I thought you didn’t want a queer for-”

“Don’t!” Jack yelled, “Don’t - Don’t talk about him like that! He’s your son, for goodness sake! We can’t just-”

“We aren’t having this conversation now, son. Come on, let’s go,” Scott interrupted. 

“I’m saying goodbye to him,” Jack said, folding his arms, “Where is he, McKinley?”

“Oh, uh - he’s - um...I’m pretty sure he’s...he’s in bed,” 

“Right. I’m going to say goodbye to him, because I’m a decent human being who actually loves his family!” Jack snapped, dropping his suitcase to the floor and storming back into the mission hut. 

“Do you want to make anymore noise?” Kevin asked when Jack burst into McKinley’s office. He was still lay in bed, flicking through a Book of Arnold, “I thought you were walking my parents to - oh, you’re not Connor,”

“Uh...no. Sorry to disappoint,” Jack said, “I just - I wanted to say bye,”

Kevin raised his eyebrows at him, “Oh. Bye,”

“And, um...I’m sorry. About...about mom and dad,” 

“They aren’t coming to say goodbye, are they?” Kevin asked with a sigh, “probably because they’re going to disown me when they get back to America, right?” 

“I don’t know,” 

“Yeah, you do.” 

“Yeah, I do,” 

“You won’t though, will you?” Kevin asked, “Disown me, I mean,”

“No,” Jack said, “No. Of course I won’t,”

Kevin smiled, “Call me when you get home, yeah?”

“Sure,” Jack said, “See you, Kev. And, um...love you, man,"

Kevin didn't look up from his book, but Jack was certain that he was smiling. "Love you too, pal," 

Liz was stood waiting for him in the living room when Jack left McKinley's office, and he couldn’t tell if she was still angry at him or not. 

“Um, hi,” Jack said. 

“I have never found you more attractive than I did when you were shouting at your parents,” 

Jack raised his eyebrows at her, “I see...”

She grinned and kissed him on the cheek, “How attached are you to the law of chastity?”

“Suddenly, not so much,” 

“Ugh, god - I can hear you!” Kevin yelled, “Go away!”

“He can hardly talk,” Jack muttered as they walked out of the hut, “I had to hear exactly what Kevin sounds like when he and McKinley are-” he broke off when he realised that his parents were staring right at him, “when he and McKinley are...praying,” 

Liz burst into laughter and even McKinley managed to crack a smile. Maybe Uganda wasn’t all bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was writing this last night at 3 AM, my flu-infected brain thought that Kevin falling out of a window was the funniest thing in the world and I did not stop laughing for about twenty minutes.  
(thank-you for reading)


	8. Epilogue

If Jack had known that their journey home was going to be as awkward as it ended up being, he might have saved his outburst for when they got back to Utah. The four of them sat in uncomfortable silence for the entire journey, not even speaking when they were waiting in the airport for their next layover. His parents didn’t even say anything when he ordered a coffee at Starbucks after Liz had dared him too. 

“This is disgusting,” Jack whispered, sliding the drink over to her. 

“More for me,” she said happily, taking a big gulp. 

“Do you think Kevin is going to be OK?” Jack asked quietly, shuffling closer to her. 

“He’ll be fine. He has Connor and Arnold,” 

“You know they sleep in the same bed?”

“Kevin and Connor? Yeah, that isn’t that weird considering that they’re-”

“No. Kevin and Cunningham,” 

Liz frowned for a moment before shrugging, “You know what best friends are like,” 

“I don’t sleep in the same bed as _ my _best friend!”

Liz snorted, “You cuddle on that sofa in the library all the time,” 

“We do not cuddle!” Jack snapped, though he was beginning to think that maybe they do, “We just...he falls asleep and I fall asleep-”

“With your arms around each other,” Liz pointed out, “Which I’m pretty sure is against the Honor Code,”

“The Honor Code is a big pile of poop,” 

“Congratulations, Jack, you’re the last person to realise that,” 

The problem with long haul flights where there was little to do was that Jack’s brain took it upon itself to overthink everything; did he still want to be Mormon? Did he even believe in what the Church stood for anymore? Did he want to stay at BYU, or did he want to go somewhere else? Were his parents really the sort of people he wanted to be associated with if they showed such an obvious disdain for people like their own son?

When they finally got back to Utah, Jack fought the urge to climb straight into bed and dragged himself into the kitchen and over to the phone. The Mission Hut number was stuck next to it, and Jack very quickly snapped a picture of it on his mobile before one of his parents threw it in the trash. 

“Hello, Uganda's District 9, Elder McKinley speaking,” 

“Hey, Elder McKinley. It’s Jack,” 

“Oh,” 

“Hey, yeah, uh - can I - is Kevin around? I told him I’d ring him when I got home,” 

“So that whole ‘I still love my brother’ speech wasn’t just an act? I’m impressed. I thought you were still a disgustingly homophobic uptight Mormon who cared more about his Church than his brother,” 

Jack frowned down at his hands, wondering how McKinley had managed to insult him _ and _compliment him at the same time.

“Yeah, anyway, Kevin? Is he around?” 

“Give me a minute,” McKinley said. 

There was the distant sound of McKinley shouting, ‘_Kevin, your brother wants to speak to you!’ _before Kevin finally came to the phone. 

“You rang,” Kevin said in surprise, “I thought-”

“I was disgustingly homophobic who cared more about the Church than you?”

“Is that what Connor said to you?” Kevin asked. 

“Yeah. He’s a bit mean,” Jack muttered, “mean but...well, he’s right.” 

“Not anymore though,” 

“Not anymore,” Jack agreed, “How’s Africa?”

“The same. Hot, mainly. And I think I got bit by a spider last night in bed because my little toe on my right foot does _ not _look normal. It’s slightly green,” 

The phone almost slipped out of Jack’s hand, “Don’t you think you should go and get that checked out? Gosh, Kev! You need a doctor!”

“I know, I know,” Kevin sighed, “Connor has been on at me about it all morning. I just - I don’t like hospitals,”

“Yeah, but if your toe is green-” Jack broke off with a sigh, “I’m just going to rely on McKinley to make you go,” 

“Yeah, well, he is _ very _persuasive.” 

“Ew. Kevin. Stop.” 

Kevin snorted, “Please, I had to hear about you breaking the Law of Chastity,”

Jack felt his face heat up and was more than happy about the fact that Kevin was not around to see him. He wasn’t sure he’d ever live it down.

“Please don’t make fun of me,” Jack groaned, leaning his forehead against the kitchen table. 

“Have you? Broke the Law of Chastity, I mean.”

“What? _ No! _ I’ve literally just walked through the - you know what? I’m not having this conversation with you,” Jack said over the sounds of Kevin howling with laughter, “This is the worst conversation we’ve ever had,” 

“I’m not sure it’s the _ worst _,” 

“It’s up there, though,” Jack said. He sighed when he heard his mom shout his name, "Mom wants me. I should go. I'll ring you soon though,"

"If Arnold ever answers the phone when you ring, I’m sorry. You’ll have to speak to him for at least an hour until he’ll give the phone over to me,” 

Jack soon learned how difficult it was to get off the phone with Arnold Cunningham the hard way. 

* * *

“Dude, if I can tell mom and dad that I’m gay, I’m pretty sure you can tell them you’re dropping out of BYU,” 

The line crackled slightly as Jack sighed down the phone. He adjusted his position in bed slightly, pulling his covers over his head, “Yeah. I know,” 

“Where are you transferring to again?” 

“University of Michigan,” 

“Where’s Liz transferring?”

“Michigan State,”

“Huh.” Kevin said, “Are you following her or is she-”

“Shut up, Kev,” Jack mumbled, “You’re the one who stayed in Africa because of your boyfriend,”

“Don’t tell him that,” Kevin sighed, “Or I’ll never hear the end of it,” 

Jack laughed, “I’m going to bed. I have a hard day tomorrow,” 

“You’ll be fine, buddy,” Kevin promised, “Love you,” 

“Love you too, Kev,” 

* * *

It was not the most enjoyable conversation that he ever had with his parents, but he at least got through it without crying. His mom cried, though and even his dad got a little bit teary. 

“I’m sorry,” Jack said, “I know - I know that you wanted me to go to BYU but I can’t hack it here. I hate it. I can’t stand it here. Everyone is just _ so _up themselves and they all think that they’re Heavenly Father’s gift to this college! And Church is just so...it’s so...” he took a deep breath, “I don’t...I’m not sure I want to go anymore,” 

“You don’t want to go to Church?” Hope asked. 

“The, um, the college Bishop he’s so...he’s _ awful. _Last week he did a sermon all about gay people and how they’re destroying society!” Jack exclaimed. 

“Not all Bishops-”

Jack groaned and jumped up from his seat, kicking a half-packed box of his belongings. It didn’t make him feel any better and he spent the next five minutes hopping up and down, trying to distract from the pain in his toe. 

“I get it, alright?” Jack said, once the pain in his foot and subsided slightly, “Kevin didn’t turn out in the way that you wanted him to and now it looks like I’m not going to, but I can’t stay here! I can’t. I hate it.” 

“What about your faith?” Scott asked. 

“Dormant,” Jack admitted, “I mean, how can - how He be real if He let all that happen to Kevin?” 

“Punishment, perhaps?” 

Jack scoffed, “For what? Loving someone? Give me a break!” 

Somehow, Jack got through the day without being disowned, but he wasn’t sure how long that would last. He wasn’t even sure that being disowned would bother him much anymore. At least he wouldn’t have to go to Church on Christmas Day.

* * *

There was an unwritten rule that a phone call in the dead of night could only mean one thing: someone was dead. 

So when Jack’s phone rang out at 3 in the morning, he almost jumped out of his skin. He scrambled out of bed and launched himself across the room, snatching his phone off the floor and picking it up without even looking at the caller ID. 

“Hello?” he asked, only to be met with the sounds of sobbing, “Hello? Who - Who is this?”

“J-Jack? I’m - I’m sorry, I know it’s - I know it’s late but I needed to - I needed to speak to someone,” 

“Kev?” Jack said, sliding down the wall, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Mom and Dad, they’ve - they’ve disowned me,” he sobbed, “They told me not to come home, I don’t know what to do! Arnold is staying here with Nabulungi and - and Connor doesn’t have anywhere to go, either! I just want to - I want to come home, but I don’t know where that is anymore!”

The creaking of bed swings and gentle thuds of footsteps told him that Liz had woken up. Jack held a finger to his lips and put his phone on speaker, the sounds of Kevin sobbing rang around their tiny bedroom and Liz gasped softly, putting her hand over her mouth. 

“What am I going to do? The entire family probably know that I’m gay now and they won’t let me live with them, will they?”

“Does Connor not have anyone?”

“No one,” Kevin cried, “No one gives a shit about us!” 

“Hey, Kev, that isn’t - that’s not true,” Jack said, “You can move here, there’s space,” 

Kevin sniffed slightly, “Me and Connor?”

“Sure, why not?” Jack said, deciding not to mention that the second bedroom was nothing more than a glorified storage space, “At least until...at least until you get back on your feet. I don’t mind,” 

“Will Liz mind?” Kevin asked quietly, “I don’t want to - I don’t want to intrude,” 

Jack glanced over at Liz who just shrugged her shoulders.

"No, no. Of course not. It's fine, Kev. Whatever you need,”

* * *

A year to the date after the Price family and Liz had left Uganda, Jack stood in Detroit Wayne County Airport with Liz, anxiously awaiting the arrival of Kevin and Connor. He tried not to look so nervous, but Kevin had sounded nothing less than unstable on the last few phone calls and Jack was terrified that he’d do or say the wrong thing. (He was maybe even more terrified of doing or saying the wrong thing and having to face the wrath of an angry Connor McKinley). 

Liz seemed supremely calm about the whole thing, and even though Jack was almost certain that it was a facade, he took great comfort in it.

“Here they are,” Liz said quietly. 

Jack looked up from his phone that he had been aimlessly scrolling through and tried to plaster a smile on his face, though it faltered the moment he laid eyes on Kevin; He looked tired, and Jack decided to put that down to the thirty hour flight and not anything more sinister. His hair was falling in his eyes in a way that would have usually bothered him, and he looked too skinny. Jack would have liked to put this down to the abysmal diet they had in Africa, but Connor looked too healthy for that to be the case. 

“Hey, Kev,” 

Kevin smiled at him, “No mom and dad?”

“Sorry,” Jack said, “I asked them. They were...working,”

“Were they working or too embarrassed to face their gay son?”

“Sorry,” Jack said again. 

“It’s not your fault,” Kevin said. 

Jack shrugged, feeling like it might have been his fault slightly; he should have tried harder to get his parents to see sense. Two phone calls home every month in which he feebly defended Kevin wasn’t going to solve anything. 

“Come on, then,” Liz said, “No use in standing around and doing nothing. We have dinner to cook,” 

"Wait," Connor said quickly, "Do you guys know of any hotels we can stay around here?"

"What are you talking about?" Liz asked, "What do you need a hotel for?"

"To sleep?" Connor said with a frown. 

"You're staying with us," Jack said, "I thought...I thought that was obvious? I said on the phone-“

"And it was really nice of you to offer but we’re not students, we can’t-"

"We have our own apartment," Liz said, "Don't worry about it. There's space,"

Kevin stared at them with an incredulous expression on his face, "You're...you're _living _together? That's not very Mormon of you," 

"We moved in last month," Liz said with a shrug. 

"Bye bye Law of Chastity," Kevin muttered. 

"Shut up," Jack muttered, hitting Kevin around the back of the head, "Idiot," 

"Moron," 

Maybe Jack was being stupidly naive, but he really believed they were going to be come out the other side of this. Somehow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading!! 
> 
> This fic was really fun to write, so I hoped you all enjoyed it!


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